Focus what to do INSTEAD of what NOT to

HK Apr 2013There is something I want to get better in my 1 on 1 coaching practice. I observe that from time to time I cannot help offer suggestion to the coachees. I have been telling myself not to, but the temptation is high.

In chatting with a number of practitioners, I came to realise that the problem is what I focus. I focus my mind on NOT to offer suggestion. The more I think of suggestion, the more easily I give suggestion. Intsead, I should remind myself to listen. Challenge myself to really understand what the coachee said. Listen with the tone, facial expression, context, etc.

In short, my listening position should be ‘Listening to understand’ rather than ‘Listening to give suggestion’. Specifically, I should keep this question in mind:

‘What else can I do to REALLY understand him / her?’


3 Replies to “Focus what to do INSTEAD of what NOT to”

  1. Hey David..I can relate to what u r saying…u know my analysis of this is that it is because of my own ego…I want everyone to think I am smart and helpful… So it is still about me… Coaching becomes powerful when u genuinely put the person in front of you at the centre…like all good things it is about practice…love your blog…it is our 20 in the 70 20 10…

  2. ‘Genuinely put the person in front you at the centre’ Well said. It is not about putting him / her at the centre so that we know whom to impress. It is about putting him / her at the centre even when the coach may look ‘small’ / invisible.

    It is about REALLY genuinely put him / her at the centre.

  3. I have experienced this works wonderfully when I am coaching on a subject totally unfamiliar to me. My very questions to understand the situation and clarifying questions make the coachee more and more aware about the unexplored possibilities and getting untried alternatives.

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