Coach only if he wants to

20130330-100626.jpgOne of my friends came to me to talk about her career choices the other day. Somehow I launched into my coaching mode and started to ask questions. I did it unconsciously probably because I have done 2 coaching sessions before meeting my friend. After 5 minutes, looked annoyed, she said ‘David, I know that you are practicing your coaching but….’

That moment reinforced my previous realisation on how important coachee’s willingness is. I will almost say that coaching will never work if the coachee does not want to be coached. It could be rather intimidating to anyone when being thrown with a series of unsolicited questions. If unsolicited, those thought-provoking-coaching-questions can be particularly annoying.

At the very least, in the future, I should always ask ‘Is it OK if I ask a few questions for us to clarify the situation and your thought?’


2 Replies to “Coach only if he wants to”

  1. This is so good insights. It recalled me some bad experiences when my previous boss, also an experienced trainer and facilitator, tried to coach me on some business issue one day. My feeling at that moment is really bad, feel not engaged on his questions, but the deeper assumption that the people asking questions are more senior than the people tried to answer.
    I will try to add this point into my any coaching related courses.

  2. Hey David, I am learning a Psychological consultation program and I realize that there are a lot of similar key principles in Psychological consultation and coach. Just like you mentioned above, only if he wants, he can be coached. My teachers in the Psychological program are all licensed consultants. All of them say that dont do the consultation for free since usually if it is for free, then the visitors will never cooperate. I guess next time, you can charge a certain amount of fee in order to get good cooperation. 🙂

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