Ask, Not Tell

I facilitated a half-day team building session last Friday in Sheshan (outskirt of Shanghai).   It took me quite a lot of preparation.   And the sponsor is one of our important stakeholders.  So, quite some pressure for me to do it right.

The session went alright and as always there are areas which I could do better.   What I want to reflect on here is the feeling I had during the session.   Once, a senior facilitator said I was ‘in the flow’ when she observed me in action.  I did not really get it at that time.   But now, when I reflect on this experience, I understand it more.   I found myself ‘totally immersed’ in the session.  I love the feeling of concentrating myself on how to make the process work – asking the right questions, sensing the atmosphere, connecting with my participants…..

I guess I am lucky.

Other than coaching skills, I picked up some great facilitation / training techniques in Chennai.  In fact, the 2 facilitators are wonderful!   Among all, they were great in using analogies, stories and their own experience to illustrate the concepts.   It is not easy to present and explain what each of the 34 talent themes mean.   It could be very boring.   But they did it in a vividly way!!

Let me share something new to me which I learnt.   The first thing is the idea of ‘Learning Enemy’    It could be the mindset of ‘I already knew it’ or ‘It does not work’.

When I apply it, I would probably say something like the following to the learners:

‘You probably want to maximize your learning since we are here already.   One thing that we get in our way is the ‘Learning Enemy’   They are those little voices in our mind which prohibit us to learn new things.   They block us from seeing things from new perspective.   An example is the idea of ‘I already knew it’     What is your own ‘Learning Enemy’?  [Pause.  No need to really take in response.  Just let the concept to sink in.]    I invite you to identify what it is and let it go.   Doing this can free you up to learn new things.’

It is a great concept since it separates the learners from the ‘bad’ thing.   It helps learner admit the undesirable mindsets more easily.  It is like saying ‘You are OK.  Just that there is something affecting you.  So, take this away.’

The single most important insight I gained in Chennai is the Strength-based Approach.  I am already aware of this before the class in Chennai.  But the class brought up the approach to me thanks to the trainers’ vivid delivery.  Basically, the approach is about focusing on your strength rather than weakness.   This resonates me a lot.  I always say to myself ‘One should focus on what he loves to do.  If he is reasonably smart, he will have outstanding performance in doing something he loves.  And outstanding performance will eventually get rewarded.’  This was my belief supporting me to move from the sales function to training.

And coincidentially in Chennai, I bought a book called ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’.    It says in the book:

“……The secret of happiness is simple: find out what you truely love to do and then direct all of your energy towards doing it.  Once you do this, abundance flows into your life and all your desires are filled with ease and grace…..”

Are we doing something we love?

I am writing this on the SQ flight leaving Chennai.   I just attended a 4-day Strengths-finder coaching class in Chennai last week.  This marks the start of my journey of professional coaching.   I am not sure how good I will be or whether it will become one of my professional pursuits.  But learning this new skill is exciting.   More importantly, I am amazed the similarity between coaching and consultative selling or facilitation.   The required mindset is similar.   In short, it is largely about ‘Ask, Not Tell’    Coaching is about empowerment.   A good coach should avoid telling his / her thought.  More importantly, it is about helping the coachees finding their own ‘solutions’.

Well, with this blog also named the same, well, how could I resist to know more about coaching!!

I talked about the ample resources on websites like Youtube and Vimeo which can help our training a lot.   But what happens if you do not have Internet access inside your training room?   Or even if you have it, the access is slow?

I was introduced to a website which allows us to download chips from the Internet into our computers.  It is called Miro.    I have not used it because there is system restriction on my laptop.   And unfortunately video websites like Youtube and Vimeo are now blocked in China!!  Anyway, hope that it is useful to you.   Do let me know your comment if you try it.