Ask, Not Tell

• Course: A 3 day management course
• Date: 21-23 Nov 2007
• Location: Sunny days in Shenzhen, China
• # of Participants: 23
• I am feeling: Tired

I have been in class in the last 8 days… consecutively. Yes, including the last weekend… The experience did consume much of my energy. And now in the Shenzhen airport, I got to deal with the delay as well!! (But at the same time, I learnt quite a lot especially from the TTT class in the weekend.)

Back to the class I just finished today. I tried something new. I learnt this from the 7-habit class. Credit goes to Stanley Sun. I used the poker card to draw participation in the class. I encouraged the participant to answer questions, give comment and share experience. For those who did this, I will let them to draw a poker card. I would then have a prize for the one who got the highest score. It worked very well.

By doing this, you do not need to prepare too many prizes. But at the same time, you can motivate the participants to participate from time to time. You will be amazed how much people love to draw and collect cards!!

In the training field, we always use this quote:

I hear and I forget;
I see and I remember;
I do and I understand.
– Confucius

I have tried but failed to find the original Chinese version. With help from my colleague, I now locate it, though the English translation in fact is not the direct translation. Here you go with the original one:

不闻不若闻之，闻之不若见之，见之不若知之，知之不若行之。学至于行之而止矣。
– 《荀子·儒效》

The direct translation should be as follows. Just my version – please suggest if you have a better one:

Hearing is better than ignorance
Seeing is better than hearing
Understanding is better than seeing
Practicing is better than understanding
You should thus only stop till you practice

In addition, the quote is actually not from Kong Zi or Confucius himself. It is from another figure in the confusianism.

A new thought from a 3-day management course which I am conducting this week.

There was a team-problem solving activity which requires the whole-team participation in order to be accomplished. One of the intended learning point is that team performance will be affected if some do not participate. And some did leave from time to time to answer phone call.  As a result, their team did take longer time to solve the problem.

During the debrief, I was thinking on foot whether I should bring this up. If I bring this up, it is like putting spotlight on those who have left for phone calls. This could be embarrassing to them. I chose to do it at the end. I asked the affected teams what hindered them to complete more quickly. Through this, I highlighted that in real life, behaviors like answering phone calls during teamwork will also affect the performance. This problem sounds basic but it did happen – as showed in the activity.

I know those who were on the phone may not like this discussion. In some senses, I asked for conflict with the participants. Interestingly it seems contrary to my previous sharing that trainers should stay understanding and maintain good relationship with the floor.

I do believe that sometimes trainers should bring up possibly-unpopular discussion if it is for the sake of learning.  In fact, unpleasant conflict may even be better.  It makes people memorize better.  As some said, trainers (should more be facilitators this case) are the mirrors to reflect the participants’ own behaviors to themselves. Our responsibility to make them think, to question their own choices.

This is even though you will face the cost of lower L1 score.  What do you think?

 **Click here to subscribe to this blog**

• Course: A Train-The-Trainer course
• Date: 18-19 Nov 2007
• Location: A rainy weekend in Shanghai, China
• # of Participants:10
• I am feeling: Tired but Meaningful

I started being in training from last Tue onward for 2 weeks. It even included a weekend. Such workload makes me feeling tired physically these days. Yet, I do enjoy the class this weekend. It is the first time I facilitated a full TTT class which can lead to certification. Asking myself why I enjoy it – I believe it is because:

• There are eager learners. I am lucky to have them. Most have genuine need and interest to enhance their training skills. Equipping them with more tips and technique does improve their life. This goes back to the very reason why I moved to training. Life affects life.
• I learn as well in the class. I pick up tips and techniques not only from the Master Trainer – Arnold but also the learners!!
• I am doing something I am interested in. It is simple but so true.

**Click here to subscribe to this blog**

I have heard from a few fellow colleagues about the course called ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People‘. They all speak quite highly about it. You may have heard of a book of the same name by Stephen R. Covey. In fact, I bought the book at least 5 years ago. But I never finished it despite several trials. The theories and technical terms in the first few chapters stopped me already.

Yet, the course told me the habits very clearly. I attended the course this week. The course design is good and the trainers are experienced. (To respect the IP, I will avoid talking about specific contents here.)

Among all the courses I have experienced, I found this 7-Habit course and the SPIN course being the best in course design. In simple term, by ‘well-designed’, I mean the course to be interactive, fun, and being able to lead to concrete and applicable learning points. For the 7-Habit course, it would be better if it lasts for 3 instead of 2 days. There are quite a number of areas which demand more time in order to yield strong (enough) impact.

In addition, the TTT process and post-TTT-support of both are robust. For example, the facilitator guide for SPIN is very well-written. And I heard the same about the 7-Habit class. It does help the facilitators to deliver. It adds creditability to the facilitators. On the other hand, I experienced some other facilitator guides containing largely content copied from the PPT used in the class!! If you are a serious facilitator, you would be struggling in delivering loosely-developed course.

(It is somehow interesting and sad to observe that external courses are generally better designed than internal corporate courses. … Of course, there are many lousy external courses as well.)

There are quite a few things I learnt about facilitation in the 7-Habit class. Let me share one observation first. On Day 1, the trainer greeted most in person. More than that, he managed to tell a bit about the company which the participants work in. I subsequently learnt that he visited each company’s website before the class. He also studied the pre-course survey submitted by the participants. He also went through a brief summary on the survey result and related it to the course content. This is on top of the welcoming act (hand shaking + smiling + name remembering) which I have been practicing.

So, 3 quick pieces of learning here:

• Use pre-course work to collect participants’ information. A short one e.g. 3 MC questions will be good enough;
• Study other sources about the participants e.g. website;
• Show that you did it help to build rapport very effectively. Everyone loves to get attention.

The gives a good start to the class atmosphere since participants are feeling good.

**Click here to subscribe to this blog**

Another reflection about the relationship with the participants – if you find the participants ‘mis-behave’ e.g. walking in and out all the time, do not just blame them. We should ask ourselves also another question – ‘Am I the reason of the mis-behavior?’ Think about ‘Is my delivery very boring?’, ‘Have I lectured for too long?’, ‘Did I forget to have a tea break?’. It is always easier to blame the others rather than ourselves. More than easy, it is somehow a sad but nature tendency for human being to blame the others.

I have this awareness because I was personally a participant in boring courses. When I realised that I have been walking in and out of the room, I felt ashamed of myself. I asked myself how I could do it whilst I hated the others to do it in my own class. My answer to myself was that the course was real boring. I just could not help to go out to get some fresh air. And then I thought it is perfectly possible that I am such a boring trainer at least to some people (like the vacationers or prisoners!!)

So, we should criticize not only the others, but also ourselves!!

**Click here to subscribe to this blog**

If you have read my previous posts about participants’ mis-behavior, you know that this issue is dear to me (and I think to all trainers / facilitators). Here is a story (let’s say a story) which made me think even more deeply about this issue. Here is how the story goes:

“One day, a trainer (He) was very unhappy that a participant (She) often left the training room to answer and make calls. It was particularly disturbing because she often missed to participate in the group discussion. So, he warned her but probably because of language barrier she did not get it very well and in fact took it as a kind of insult somehow. As the trainer did not see any improvement or more importantly the respect which he expected, he finally decided to ask her not to come back on Day 2. Somehow, instead of telling her directly, he asked the local administrator to tell her not to come back unless she apologized.

The local administrator however believed that both of them deserved a proper conversation before the training money was wasted. The administrator thus first delivered the trainer’s message (which the participant received with anger) but persuaded the participant to come back a bit earlier on Day 2. The administrator asked the trainer for 5 minutes to have a tri-party conversation.

He agreed and the conversation started in a small but quiet room. It however ended sadly – the trainer literally walked away from the other two with prejudice. Why? First, the trainer chose to communicate with strong opinion. He was more like an interrogator than someone who would like to teach. Second, the participant failed on her part as she did not complete the minimum the pre-work for Day 2.”

Like many trainers, whenever some mis-behaved in the class, I often had the question ‘what’s wrong with him / her?’ coming to my mind or simply just want him / her disappearing from the class. I did feel upset. And sometime I did want to let my anger show. But the above story did make me think again what I should do towards mis-behavior.

I think the participant in the story did show her willing to correct already. Think about it – she chose to come in front of the trainer even after the latter asked her to leave (such act to an adult is rather not ‘face-saving’). She was showing her sincerity already. With that, the trainer should at least listen with an open mind (irrespective whether she could or could not really behave in the class going forward). His ‘interrogating’ attitude will just shut the learner down or close out any possibility to include her.

Looking at this story, I asked myself a question – ‘what is the trainer’s core responsibility?’ My answer is – ‘a trainer facilitates the participants to learn.’ You do not do it just by lecturing in the class. You create the environment to learn, not just physically, but also mentally. You will be receptive and understanding. You should welcome anyone who shows a willing to learn. There is a saying in Chinese by Confucian called 有教无类. In English, it means ‘everyone with a desire to learn should have the right to do so’

A great learning for me!!

**Click here to subscribe to this blog**

We borrowed the facility in the Sun Yat-Sen University for a 2-day induction training. Though the course itself did not give me any significant surprise, I was astonished to realize how nice the campus it is. There are lot of red-brick building of nearby 100 years old. And there are lot of trees and space. Since I stayed inside the campus, I strolled around in the morning and I was very attracted by the environment. The experience did make me think about going back to the campus one day…..

• Course: A new staff induction program course
• Date: 30-31 Oct 2007
• Location: Rainy days in Guangzhou, China
• # of Participants: 37
• I am feeling: Good

**Click here to subscribe to this blog**