Ask, Not Tell

I have had a great experience in Seoul last week. My learners in this leadership development class were awesome.

I was quite worried before the program. The Korean learners I experienced before were in general quiet in workshops. It was difficult to get them involved. On the other hand, this was the first time I facilitated this program in Korea. In addition, I am not sure how the learners will be like after a major strike last year in the organisation. I heard that things are turbulent there.

I was wrong. The learners turned out to be reflective, humorous and curious. They took in the content very quickly. They were not hesitated to ask questions even at the expense of having breaks or lunch late. They used the language from Day 2 onward. They came to me over drinks how they like the program and their plan to use it at work. I know that one has even already applied some of the concepts on an evening conference call after class. They are the best group I have experienced so far for this program.

I wonder whether the Korean learners in previous classes were like this. My partner who is a local Korean said this class is different. I believe that my partners and I have probably done a good job. We used a lot of personal examples. We adjusted the process for the situations, etc. But I do not think our facilitation is the only reason. We think a major reason is how the learners are selected. Quite a number of them have been recently promoted.

I learn a big lesson here. A workshop can be so much more effective if the learners are keen to learn. On the contrary, I believe no matter how good the design or facilitators are, a workshop will not work if we have the ‘wrong’ learners. I have experienced once in another country where the learners were very resistant to the training venue in the first place. I think we do not need the whole class full of grade A learners. But we do need a few to trigger the atmosphere.

It goes back to the topic of willingness to learn – the learner selection, the building of burning platform, the WIIFM….

I came across an article from McKinsey Quarterly called ‘Getting more from your training programs‘.     I am interested to see that they wrote about topic like this well.   Love to share.

My thought on the article, in short, is that there are lots to be done outside the training room to make training work.

What else?

It is probably the shortest yet most powerful question in drawing the respondent to think and express more. It is a follow up question after question like ‘what option do we have?’. ‘What else?’ is like the additional squeeze to the toothpaste. And interestingly from my experience, there is always some more to be ‘squeezed’! The question is especially powerful when it is followed with a silence of say 3-5 seconds.

Though the question is useful, it is not very commonly used when i see others facilitate or sell. Well, in a way it is a boring but useful question.

My holiday is about to end. Loving it!

What done well? What could be done differently?

These are typical debriefing questions after activities in classes.

Simple but useful questions in helping others reflect from experience. In fact I believe they are the key questions to ask in order to for ourselves individually in ‘learning from experience’ under the 70-20-10 learning structure.

In addition, they are also the easy-to-use questions for managers to develop team members. Just to ask these questions in the taxi after a client meeting.

The same applies to parents in helping kids learn. I think if we ask enough, the kids / team members will unconsciously ask themselves these questions as well in the future.

What would happen if you do not nothing about it?

There are so many things we want to do and we want to do it all at once with the best effort. But we only have 24 hours a day. This question helps the respondent to clarify how serious a situation is, and thus to prioritize.

The question seems to be simplistic. But since the option of not doing anything is seldom considered, the scenario of doing nothing is seldom examined. Sometimes, things will not become as bad as they seem, or may not as worse as some other issues.

What assumption you made recently which needs to be reexamined?

The english word ‘assumption’ is a wonderful word. Simply by itself, it carries the notion that the assumption may be wrong and thus needs to be examined. We make assumptions all the time and probably some worked well in the past but not so now. To me, the chinese translation XX does not have such magic.

How would Superman / Obama / [any idol figure the respondent has] handle this?

This question is used more in the coaching setting. It stretches the respondent’s mind in a positive and fun manner. It helps remove the self censorship the respondent may have. Put it this way – this question is a good one in the ‘Option’ discussion under the GROW coaching model.

I experienced a similar question. It is also about empowering the respondent to think by giving / reminding him / her a role. I was having great difficulty in making a career decision. My friend asked me ‘Being a father, what would you love go tell your kids 10 years later in how you make your decision?’. The question put things in perspective. I saw the long term and the big picture. More importantly I made the decision more easily.