Ask, Not Tell

‘What advice would you give to the others if they were in the same situation?’

I learn to use this question recently from a colleague. This is a great question to ask after someone shares an experience or analyze a situation. The question helps extract the learning points. It is beneficial to both the one who answers it and those listening to the answer. And in term of facilitation process, the question will distill the stories / analysis into a concrete points which can be recorded and related to as the session moves on. And this is appreciative as well!
[Great balcony! It lets me see the sea which I miss a lot!]

I should have written this series of posts long ago. This blog is primarily about asking questions and the coming posts will contain some of my favorite questions. I found these questions useful in training, facilitation, coaching, selling, influencing, negotiating….etc

[loving the nice warm weather in malaysia!]

‘Ask, Not Tell’ is 5 years old this month!   I cannot believe how fast time has flied!

As I look back, the topics in the blog have shifted.   I wrote a lot about presentation skills and classroom training skills in the beginning.    Bit by bit, I have changed the perspective from training to learning.   For example, there are posts like ‘Learning vs Training’  and the one on ‘How much does training matter?’ .   And my interest in meeting facilitation has been built up.   See ‘Be prepared, and prepared not to use what you prepare’  and ‘Small-group facilitators’ .

I look forward to learning from my own reflection and your thoughts!

I facilitated 2 senior management meetings recently.    Both were attended by intact teams comprising fewer than 10 people i.e. a small group.    One was about strategy planning and another about problem solving.

I am delighted with the feedback that both events enabled the participants to have open and honest discussion.   Most participants commented that they saw the others speaking up openly and willing to challenge each other!

I was reflecting what made them speak up, and more importantly how I contributed.     It came down to the realization I had during my ARL experience.   It is about one of the key roles played by facilitators.  (See also the previous post on ‘What does a facilitator do?’ )   The facilitators are to enable ‘safe’ conversation with conscious use of space and time.

More specifically, I think the followings re space and time have helped:

Pre-event dinner – For one of the meetings, the participants and I had dinner the night before the event.   I facilitated loosely for all of us to share personal stories.   This worked well.

Room set up – I arranged both meetings in chairs-in-circle-shape.   No table.   It is amazing how people will participate more and better in this setting.   Unconsciously they left their mobile devices and laptops behind, and they became fully ‘exposed’ into the meetings.

Reflection time – I slowed down the discussion from time to time.   I allocated time for each to first write down ideas on paper with specific questions before they jumped into group discussion.

Breakout group – There were fewer than 10 people in each meeting.  Not a big size.  I was once hesitated whether I need to split them up for smaller group discussion.   I did it and I found it that it helped.   First, each participated better in a 3-4 people group.   More importantly, they loosened themselves more when setting changed.   They moved around and spoke more freely.   It is important to change the configuration from time to time.

[Participants in break out groups]

Ｉ ran a TTT class in Shenzhen recently.   There were a few questions from the learners which I promised to respond after the class.   Perhaps I can share here as well:

1.    What other resources I can use to learn more about Facilitation?
Here are some thoughts using the 70-20-10 framework:
•    On the Job Learning [70]
o    Set a learning goal for yourself before every class you run.   Be specific.   It could be a particular tool or process you want to try.   Or a specific descriptor on the Facilitation Standard.
o    Reflect on it yourself after the class re the goal.   Ask yourself ‘What went well?’ and ‘What can be done differently?’
o    Keep a journal.   I do it in my blog.
o    Get someone to give your feedback re the goal.   Preferably fellow facilitators.   If not, seek help from 1 or 2 learners.   Do not just rely on L1 feedback form.
o    Treat Facilitation Standard observation as a learning opportunity
•    Learning from the Others [20]
o    Observe the others.   Again, ask yourself ‘What went well?’ and ‘What can be done differently?’
o    Teach the others.  Share your learning.   A lot believe that the best way to learn is to teach.
o    Form a learning circle with 2-3 fellow facilitators.   Spend 15 minutes in the morning to discuss on 1 question brought by one of you.    If you travel together with other facilitators, seek and offer feedback on the road
•    Formal Learning [10]
o    Read the books / website I recommend

2.    How to better manage time in running classes?
•    Set a few (not a lot) mine-stones.  Have a clear idea what you need to accomplish when ½ of the class time is gone.
•    If the class is PPT-driven (hopefully not),  be clear which slide you should be on when ½ of the class time is gone.
•    Be clear of the class objective.
•    Get a learner to remind you on time (provided that you build good rapport with them)
•    Put the clock or watch on some visible spot

3.    Where can I find resources for music and picture?
•    For picture:
o    http://www.google.com.hk/imghp
o    http://image.baidu.com/
•    For music
o    Any music without lyrics will do
o    I always use the music from this CD.   You can buy it on http://www.trainerswarehouse.com/Laughable-Lyrics-for-Meetings-and-Training-CD/productinfo/GAMULL/

4.    How to make an impressive (but short) closing to the learners?
•    To me, closing should achieve the following:
o    Get them feel good or end at high note
o    Reinforce learning transfer
•    As reference, one way is achieve the above is to get them first write down their KISS actions, finish the evaluation and then stand up to share 1 action to the others (an open commitment).   And then, say thank you and play the ‘You are the best’ song.    Note that never do the evaluation as the last process in the class!
•    There are many other ways to end e.g. working out a mindmap together, use a quote, etc.

[Using the window-paning technique in my recent TTT class]

An additional idea on top of one of my recent posts – Co-designing with client http://www.ask-nottell.com/?p=747.    I talked about a lot the benefits in designing the process with a representative nominated by the sponsor.   It is however risky if the facilitator relies too much on the representative.   The facilitator may not have a correct picture of what the sponsor wants.     In fact, in the book I recommended ‘The Secrets of Facilitation’, the author argues that facilitators should simply NOT take on job if we can only work with the surrogate sponsor.

I agree a lot.   In a strategy planning meeting last year, I worked with the sponsor’s executive assistant most of the time during design.   Despite all our hard work and creative ideas, the sponsor was not very impressed and in fact found the whole thing ‘over-engineered’.   My lesson learnt is that the need analysis and expectation setting process should ALWAYS be done directly with the sponsor.  Preferably face-to-face.   Their needs are often not explicit.   I would even say sometimes they do not know what they really need.   For example, some would say they want clear action items after discussion.   In reality, what they really want is some fun and an opportunity to see how the participants behave and fun.   They will not respond to any action resulted from the event.

Thus, I think it is balance (again!).   In the ideal situation, the facilitator should have the initial conversation with the sponsor first.   It is to understand the need and set the expectation.   The facilitator then works with someone appointed by the sponsor to co-design.   But then before the implementation, the facilitator checks with the sponsor again on the whole design and deliverables.

What are your other thought in how to engage the sponsor well?

[The photo contains flipcharts in my recent Train-the-Facilitators]

To make this blog more lively, I want to try something new.   I will insert a photo in each of my future post.   The photo would be taken at a time recent to the post.   It may or may not be related directly to the post.